I am unskilled at appraising the gravity of consequence

I think that says plenty.

The Questionable Enhancer

There lies within me a dormant volcano of thought and emotion. I only have one guaranteed tool to bring it out and that is drink. I cannot wait it out because I become sleepy. Drink invigorates me and encourages my mind to grow. I know drink has a window of effectiveness... it's almost 2:30 in the morning and i'm sipping my last beer. I could stop and go to sleep now; but I might also go out and get some more... to see what else might be uncovered. Many times I discover nothing, but sometimes, I discover everything. If I don't log the memory, it is usually lost. The drunk mind can be considered somewhat untrustworthy, and for the moment, that is probably true... but it is not incapacitated by fear or prejudice... it is honest and unscrupulous.

What it lacks in civility, it makes up for in authenticity.

Yes it makes me irritable at times and causes me to be unusually lethargic when roused in the morning... but ... it has, on occasion, drawn my mind closer to my spirit. So how can I tell my wife, who has numerous bad associations with the substance, that it can be good? If it had been prescribed by a doctor, I could just read the list of side-effects and she'd be eternally placated. But it's self-prescribed, so I must justify the side-effects, and you can imagine how that talk turns out.

Is there another way to bring about this enhancement without drugs?

What I Intend to Say to My Children When They Have Grown Beyond My Control and Have Rebuked Me for My Interference

I must add a forethought to this post: my daughter is so unbelievably sweet, I cannot imagine the day that she might rebel against me. From all sources, I ought to prepare for it, but it just doesn't seem realistic at this point.

This post was engendered by a daydream about my son (who has a very exuberant countenance). In this daydream, he was a young man and had finally succeeded in loosening my fatherly grasp.

I told him this: Everything I have ever taught you was to prepare you for life without me. I know that must sound so pompous right now, but you never saw yourself crying in my arms as a baby. The ultimate goal of every unique life is self-sufficiency. Every time you displayed discontent, I tempered my response with the knowledge that being too soft might make you weak to the world, and that being too hard might make you too hard-hearted to be any good to your brethren. Take all of my words in your memory and do what you will. I am not a slavemaster...I have only ever been a guide.

I said this to him in my daydream and the dream faded...